Amanda was a friend of mine. She was the type of friend that would drive you to Shreveport for your post op visit with your plastic surgeon. She would go to a wedding and say it was nicer than any of hers. She was a genius with hair color.
She was also in a horrible place within her own mind. To her it was not a choice, but the only light at the end of the tunnel. Many people we know have problems. Some of us are functioning alcoholics, but Amanda had the balls to actually try to do something about it. She never swept it under the rug. In fact, there was never anything under her rugs because her house was always spotless. Her homes were showplaces, and she strived so hard to make herself that way too.
She could have a baby with no drugs and almost give birth while her husband was driving through the ATM. She could give amazing baby showers. She gave me two. We all knew about Amanda’s problems by word of mouth. During a divorce I called her and told her she WAS going to our Junior League meeting. She WAS going to sit with me on the front damn row and everyone else could suck it. I had also just had a baby a few weeks prior. The meeting ran a little long and my milk started to leak and seep through my shirt. I had huge round wet spots on the front of my shirt. Amanda said, “Oh great, we are the slut and the slurpie machine.” We greatly offended the woman giving a speech while we were laughing out loud.
We all have holes inside us, but people fill them in different ways. I run to keep my demons down. Amanda’s was just larger than most. No amount of husbands, shoes, handbags, or help could fill it. She was a good mother who tried her best. Please remember that fact the next time you hear gossip about someone. Talking to everyone you know about someone else’s demons only shows your own.
Amanda drove me to a post op visit. After helping me walk into the waiting room and picking up a few brochures for herself, she went shopping. Once she helped me back in the car she gave me a little present she had just bought. It was a hideous black thong with a pink bow on the back. She flung it on me and said Chad would like it. It is extremely uncomfortable. How do I know? I dug it out of my drawer this morning and threw that bad boy on under my jeans. I could think of no better way to celebrate my beautiful friend’s life today. I hope you can find a way to celebrate her life also.
Mel what an honest, touching and beautiful picture of a true friend. Glad she had a friend like you-- and it seems that she loved you too. ~wishing life didn't hurt so bad sometimes~ Richie
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Melanie. She was one of the brightest, funniest, most creative people I had the pleasure to know. She even threw me a long distance shower and put little stick people with my friend's pictures on them for me because I was living in SF so far away. She called it the "no shower shower." And it was one of the most thoughtful things any one has ever done for me. She flew across the country to my wedding pregnant, barely squeezing into her bridesmaid dress and never complained for a second.
ReplyDeleteWe were kind of a lonely bunch of girls in college, but Amanda was never miserable. She was happy, focused, and always there for us. That's my Amanda, and I am so sad she went away.
I love hearing these stories from you and envy that you got to spend more time with her these past few years. She was supposed to come visit Trip in DC and stay with me for awhile last year but never made it. I had no idea it would never happen.
She was such a bright positive force in so many people's lives, it's just such a shame that she couldn't leave any of that love and energy for herself. I am so sad her girls will not get to see their mama's beautiful smile ever again.
Melanie,
ReplyDeleteI am Amanda's cousin, and you captured the essence of this precious being that completed our family. Today I collaborated on her obituary. It was a very difficult thing to do, and I really wish I'd learned about your blog before I turned in the final version. This is lovely, and heart felt and organic to the amazing creature she has always been. My only comfort is knowing I now have the coolest, funniest, most vibrant angel waiting for me in heaven. If your life is going to be short, don't half-ass it, I say. Thank you for your honestly.
Sallie Ann Westbrook