The Cat and I

We have a kick ass cat.

I say that because she is one tough old cat. She kills birds, squirrels, rats, and even a single snake. Sure, you say, all cats do stuff like that. It’s just their nature. Nope, our cat is special because she has no claws. That’s right, we send an unequipped cat into the wild world and she comes home with her own supper.

Our youngest daughter always feels we need to do more for our cat. She thinks this cat needs a stocking hung just for her at Christmas. What in the hell are we going to get for that cat that she really needs? Make her some opposable thumbs out of toothpicks? Night vision goggles? A sniper rifle? Seriously, she is holding her own.

Earlier this winter the cat and I had a couple of bonding moments. No we didn’t snuggle in the bed or watch Beaches together, we just came to a mutual understanding. One cold afternoon I was driving down our street when out cat bolted out in front of me. This by itself wouldn’t be so odd other than the fact she had a dead bird in her mouth. She stopped from her sprint in the middle of the street, looked dead at me with that bird in her mouth, and gave me a look that said, “you might be next”. Then she sprinted into a neighbor’s yard only to, I assume, mutilate the carcass. Better their house than mine…..

The next time was about two weeks later when we were completely out of cat food, and not much food for the humans. I was at home alone with the kids, and realized the poor cat was starving. Knowing that she obviously worked her ass off to get her own food and had come up short, I decided to give her a cat and human treat – Prosciutto.

She refused to eat it. The shit came from Dallas and she would rather lick her own ass than eat it. Was she worried about her sodium intake? Did she want it wrapped around cantaloupe? Then I realized that she was just like me. She can do her own thing, take care of herself, and just wants love. Nothing fancy.

I also understand about missing something. I can’t have anymore children because I simply don’t have all the parts I need anymore. Did I really want more kids before I had that surgery? Maybe not. Is it really making a difference now? No. I am still awesome no matter what I am missing. I kick ass.

No matter what, you just can’t keep a good kitty down.