Healthy Living I

I’m turning over a new leaf. Not really. I always try to be healthy, and think I do a good job of it at least a few hours a day. Like the hours I’m asleep.




A friend went to a nutritional seminar for a weekend and told me a little about the things she learned. I think moderation of all things is a good idea. I think getting rid of my gut is a wonderful idea. Anything to help the cause.



Healthy item number 1 – Coconut Water



After spending $80 at the health food store, I stocked my shelves with upgraded fish oil, melatonin, and a bunch of water. I thought it would taste like something that would remind me of the beach. Perhaps a Pina Colada even. It reminded me of what it would taste like to lick a waxed cardboard box, and that was just the tiny first sip.



While at a red light I decided to just be a real woman and take a big gulp – while holding my breath.



It was chunky.



I lost it. I am sure the person next to me at the red light thought the chic in the Mercedes was having a seizure. Maybe my body has a fear of drinking spoiled milk. I don’t know, but whatever I was expecting was NOT what I got. It is water for Pete’s sake. Who the hell has chunky water?



And I promise I don’t have a history of using the big bad white horse, but whatever makes me want to throw up in my mouth will come out my nose as well. I’m no ENT doctor but I don’t think that’s normal. Mind you, all of this occurred at a red light—in my dress clothes—on my way to a meeting. I was sweating, with chunky water on my shirt, and who knows what all around and in my nose. Everyone else in the meeting looked very professional. I looked like I was detoxing off heroine.



Turns out I purchased a fruit infused coconut water. Once I returned to my office I drank a plain bottle. Still not great, but sans chunky. I flat out refuse to chew my water. Did you know that coconut water is a diuretic? I didn’t really realize that until my second trip to the bathroom in less than 20 minutes. Yeah there were workmen in the office. The 5th time I went to the bathroom I noticed the workmen kind of looking at me and giggling. ARE YOU 10 YEARS OLD? IT’S WATER WEIGHT!!!!! I might offer them a nice drink of water the next time the do some more work.



I went home and ate 10 chessmen cookies. Up yours healthy.

thanks for reading, and I hope you feel a little better about yourself.